Q: Can the Iphone be used to send MMS?
A: You can't send MMS. A revolutionary phone like this requires no MMS.
Q: Oh? How about copy and pasting text?
A: You can't copy and paste. OS X on phone does not have that feature. Maybe in the next full priced version perhaps? Or perhaps you would be interested in purchasing this $2000 Macbook that would allow you to copy and paste?
Q: Yes please! I have nothing better to do with money but giving more money to Steve Jobs by buying the same laptop again and again. But please sir, what about recording videos?
A: Nah, you can't do that either. YouTube generation don't need video.
Q: Still pictures are blurry. Why is that?
A: To save money and increase their profit margins Apple has neglected to include auto-focus.
Q: No auto-focus? But isn't that an industry standard?
A: Apple customers doesn't share the same high expectations that other customers of other products have. And they know it. So no auto-focus.
Q: I am getting bored with everyone having the same ringtones. How can I install my own MP3s to use as ringtones?
A: You can't. You have to buy ringtones *exclusively* through Apple Itunes.
Q: My old phone has a 640x480 display. Why the downgrade to 480x320?
A: It isn't a downgrade. It is an upgrade. It has a glass surface and touchscreen.
Q: My Palm Pilot from 1996 had touchscreen...
A: You jest!
Q: I know I can't make video calls, but can I receive one via 3G?
A: No way. The $600 plus two year contract Iphone does not support one or two-way video calling. By the way, what is this 3G?
Q: Is there something like Adobe Flash Lite that would allow me to view flash sites or flash applications?
A: Flash is not supported. It isn't clear whether Java is even supported. You bet Quicktime will be supported though.
Q: I am going on a 20 hour flight trip to Australia. Can I buy a spare battery so I can watch videos all day long.
A: You can't. When your battery dies you are required to send it to an Apple authorised store and they will replace it for you. Parts and labour cost required. It's like the car industry.
Q: So they are going to charge me a fee for swapping the battery?
A: Well you have to make money to feed the fat cats...
Q: My free phone allows me to listen to music wireless via A2DP. How can I enable it on my expensive Iphone?
A: No it isn't supported in their 700MB Mac OS X. Apple consumers do not want technical jargon superior technology in their easy to use products.
Q: I drive a lot, so I would like to voice dial. Could you be a kind gentleman and let me know how.
A: Voice dialling isn't supported. But you can buy their expensive $120 bluetooth headset.
Q: Can I voice dial via Apple's bluetooth headset?
A: Nope! You would still need to touch the Iphone before making a phone call.
Q: So, after paying $600 for this and locked into a two year contract you are telling me my Iphone can't do anything that my free phone can?
A: But your free phone isn't by Apple.
Q: I am not sure if the Apple logo is really worth $600.
A: Steve Jobs says that this is the best phone on the market.
Q: You are right! This is an Apple phone and it is feature-packed! Thank you. It is worth it.
A: It is a brilliant product.