Tuesday, July 3, 2007

UK floods are god's judgement on society, says religious nutter

The recent floodings in this little island are caused by god's wrath due to increased homosexual acceptance in this country, says a senior Church of England bishop.

Never mind blaming a six month old videogame over a couple of murders that happened years ago, Rt Rev Graham Dow, Bishop of Carlisle decided to go further, beating his fellow CoE colleagues for insanity drivel, by arguing that part of the reason that people here are drowning is because god is pretty pissed off with us.

God, you see, is one moody bloke, granting us much summer warmth back in Springy April but has now decided that maybe it would be better to punish us folks because the sensible parliament here has giving greater rights to gays. Pro-gay rights are the cause of the Atlantic's high-pressure and Britain's low-pressure, thus causing me to cancel my Wimbledon plans (and pissing me off stupid evening hailstorm) - that was what loony Dow meant. Really.

I can already picture the headline for tomorrow's Daily Mail:
Muslims, homos and socialists: responsible for flooding!
The only way to escape death (at least for now) is easy folks. Read that bible of yours and repent. Then you do not have to worry about any natural disasters, like ever.

Oh, wait.

Via Richard and Anorax

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fuck me. Does anyone actually still believe in such nonsense?

Jon said...

Language! You do not want to be smitten by an ever vengeful god now would you?

Eniltraeh said...

But I was taught at church school that God only punishes those who are dead.

(cries)

Almighty God said...

Sorry for flooding the bible belt and killing innocent straight men. Mistakes comes with old age.

Las Vegas should be next. After I take a nap (it is tiring business judging people).

Sincerly,

God

PS: Genesis 9:11 is a load of bollocks

Anonymous said...

All temporal 'disasters' of whatever sort and when, are to focus our minds on the uncertainty of life and its shortness. One thing is totally sure, we shall all die, and "after that the judgement". We have all sinned "and come short of the glory of God", (what we should be and what God really does require of us). There is only one remedy, and that is the Saviour whom God has sent to us, the Lord Jesus Christ. We are all in the same boat, so to speak, none of us comes up to God's standard, church goer or blatant sinner. We all need help outside of ourselves!
So all disasters are 'sent' in that sense to wake us up to reality. And we certainly all do need waking up!