1. You say "the City" and expect everyone to know which one.
- I refer to the square mile as The City while zone one as Central. (one)
2. You have never been to The Tower of London or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton
- As some of you probably know, Jenni's in Brighton. So I head there at least twice a month. Been only to the Tower and Tussauds once in 96. But I wasn't a Londoner then! (one)
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Shepherds Bush to Elephant & Castle at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Dorset on a map.
- Dorset? (one)
4. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
- They sure are. (one)
5. You step over people who collapse on the Tube.
- Well none has ever collapsed in front of me on the Tube. But I do step over people who collapse in the streets. (nil)
6. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
- I can swear in French, German, Italian, Japanese, Cantonese, Mandarin and Malay. (one)
7. You've considered stabbing someone.
- Don't we all? (one)
8. Your door has more than three locks.
- Yep. (one)
9. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
- Who doesn't? (one)
10. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a garden.
- I consider that small patch of cement filled with pots of plants as a garden! (one)
11. You consider Essex the "countryside".
- Fortunately I used to live in a real countryside somewhere in the Midlands (nil)
12. You think Hyde Park is "nature".
- To me Hampstead Heath is the closest London has to nature. Never liked Hyde Park. (nil)
13. You're paying £1,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it's a "bargain".
- I don't have that much money! (nil)
14. Shopping in suburban supermarkets and shopping malls gives you a severe attack of agoraphobia.
- See (11) (nil)
15. You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the UK pay in rent.
- Don't even own a car. (nil)
16. You pay £3 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.
- Lucky for me my binge drinking days are over. But so true. (one)
17. You actually take fashion seriously.
- I like to keep up with fashion (but not trends) but only those that I can afford and certaintly not seriously. (1/2)
18. You have 27 different take-away menus next to your telephone.
- Half a dozen. But I have 50 numbers to local take aways on my mobile! (1/2)
19. The UK west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you.
- I can only name two towns west of Heathrow from the top of my head. (one)
20. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
- When I first came to London I have been ripped off my a nice stranger so I am vary of them all. (one)
21. Your idea of personal space is no one actually physically standing on you.
- On the Tube yes. (one)
22. £50 worth of groceries fit in one plastic bag.
- The most I ever spent on a single grocery trip is 20 quid. (nil)
23. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.
- I hardly take the cab so... (nil)
24. You don't hear sirens anymore.
- It is quite sad but yes I don't hear them anymore. (one)
25. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air/water quality and what it's doing to your insides.
- I don't even know who my NHS doctor is. Better go check. (one)
26. You live in a building with a larger population than most towns.
- I live in a house. (nil)
27. Your cleaner is Portugese, your grocer is Somali, your butcher is Halal, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Philippino, your bartender is Australian, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was African, your newsagent is Indian and your local English chippie owner is Turkish.
- I don't have a cleaner although when I used to live in a uni flat we had British and Philippino cleaners. My landlord is British. My bartender is indeed Australian. My dry cleaner is Middle Eastern. Same with the last cabbie I got. Newsagent is Indian. My hairdressers are either Greek or Australian. And yes my local chippie is Turkish. (one)
28. You wouldn't want to live anywhere else until you get married.
- This is something I have to discuss with Jenni but I have made it clear that London is the only city I would live in...for now. (one)
29. You roll your eyes and say 'tsk' at the news that someone has thrown themselves under a tube train.
- One unders. Keeps delaying the Tube. Bah. (one)
30. Your day is ruined if you don't get a copy of Metro on the way to work.
- Hah! I don't take the Tube to work! (nil)