Sunday, November 14, 2004

Film Review: Anacondas, The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

This has got to be the worst movie of all time that receives mainstream release.

My fellow cinema goers in West India Quay seems to think so too. Well the way they laugh seems to indicate that they were laughing at how stupid or bad the acting was.

A short cap. A bunch of scientist working for a pharmaceutical company goes of to Borneo in search for a flower called the Blood Orchid. Part of their group includes a comic black guy, sexy white girl and the obligatory British villain.

Once in Kalimantan part of Borneo, they hire this really tough looking guy who has the best cheesy punch lines, to guide them through the river. Why they did not hire a helicopter in the first place is beyond me - but hey - this is a Hollywood movie.

There, they start meeting death by the CGI Anacondas. Well, first mistake was there are NO Anacondas in Borneo. Anacondas are Amazon river snakes. They should have named the movie pythons.

The CGI 'Anacondas' are very disappointing. Following other movie sequels where more is good - this film just emphasize what is wrong with Hollywood remakes or sequels. In Aliens, we have more Aliens compared to Alien. It was a good thing because they used animatronics. Here we have god damned CGI snakes. My point? Unless the producers can hire good animators, CGI should be consigned to matters that are unfilmable.

The only saving grace is the movies is so bad that it is funny. Kinda like you go out to watch films like Gigli just to laugh at the bad acting of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. The only problem with Anacondas is you will be laughing at a bunch of D-list nobodies.


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