Let me bore you with a rubbish blog post

True story. A friend of ours wanted to get his girlfriend, a close mate of ours, a birthday gift. We suggested a ice blue DS Lite, as she has been wanting one for ages (for more than a year, since laying her eyes on ours). Anyway this guy isn't a gamer. In fact he loathes videogames ('it's for children' is his favourite motto). So Jenni helped by e-mailing him the details required and advising him on the relevant information. Two weeks ago he placed the order from an Asian web company.

Now here is where it got really funny. When he visited her last week he gave her the gift. To his girlfriend's surprise the gift was in fact an old school blue variant DS. He was perplexed at first that his girlfriend did not play it straight away, deciding instead to stow it away. Our friend did not know that he bought the wrong gift, until he calls her a few days later and asked if she has played it yet. Of course she hasn't - she already has a perfectly healthy grey DS for that! He did not notice any difference between the DS Lite and old school DS, only the colour!

Some good news though. Today we went out together to the shops together and he bought a white DS Lite for her. Even better is he may actually keep the blue DS for himself! Imagine that, four player More Brain Training multiplayer FTW!

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Just in case this story hasn't bored you to death yet, here's another videogaming sales tip. HMV has the fairly good Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories for £10 and the excellent Final Fantasy XII for a twenty.



Dixons Currys.digital has a special offer on Sony's PSP in rubbish pink for 90 quid. Fine print is you have to buy a PSP game, but I guess you can still consider it a good deal.



Still here? Well here's our Jenga tower, moments before it toppled, at the pub:



And no, it isn't 'in' to wear England underpants.

Church of England "Digital Code of Conduct" aims to demolish creative freedom

Manchester Cathedral today issued a "digital code of conduct" for videogame developers:

1. Respect our sacred spaces as places of prayer, worship, peace, learning and heritage.
2. Do not assume that sacred space interiors are copyright free.
3. Get permission from the faith leaders who are responsible for the building interiors you want to clone.
4. Support the work of those engaged in resisting the culture of gun crime and those involved in promoting the work of conflict resolution.

This was after Sony issued another apology to Manchester Cathedral and the Church of England over the some death that they (Sony) had no involvements. And like the greedy nutjobs they are the CoE isn't accepting the (second) apology, probably still scheming on extorting a pot of money from Sony and, indirectly, from us videogaming fans.

A couple of things is obviously wrong with this so called 'code of conduct', which I hope the videogaming industry as well as the whole entertainment and media industry will ignore, which I will attempt to explain here. An old building architectural design can not be copyrighted (at least extended beyond the original expiration date) much like books by H.G. Wells is no longer copyrighted. They will pass into the public domain, as I am sure if the design of the 600 year old Manchester Cathedral probably has (if it ever was copyrighted in the first place). Even then building a replica of a building, no matter how closely it resembles, isn't 'copying'.

It is how Las Vegas (the most 'sinful' place on earth) was able to rebuild replicas of famous buildings. It was also how the aliens in Independence Day were able to blow up a replica of the White House. It is how 99% of all homes in the UK isn't unique. Do they really think that Alfred Hitchhock's North by Northwest's climatic battle at Mount Rushmore was shot at the real location? If they do then they are in for a rude awakening. What about previous videogames when we could lob grenades into mosques? I never heard them complaining before. Oh wait, they are muslims, so it doesn't matter...

Gun crimes are a local issue. How they expect a multinational company like Sony, which is primarily based in Japan, to take issue on local Manchester gun crimes is beyond me. If Manchester Cathedral and the CoE wanted to tackle the issue head on then they have to do it through their local community - and the parents. At most they can take it on a national level by lobbying the government to tighten gun control and what not. But to blame Sony and the gaming community for the deaths of people they have zero responsibility for?

Last of all let us not forget the content of the game in question itself. The game, Resistance: Fall of Man, involves mankind battling some kind of alien humanoids to save the planet earth. Now, I have never played the game (nor has the church I believe, but at least they can afford a PS3 with all the begging for money stuff they do), but from what I garnered from my more trustful gaming buddies, the Manchester Cathedral was being used as a field hospital (a very noble gesture by Insomniacs, the game's developers) and actually involved alien humanoids attacking the Cathedral and killing sickly patients. Quite how protecting a hospital is bad I can't imagine. Maybe it is because the old farts do not believe in fictional aliens, but then again their bible made up of mythical content.

Or maybe they just want us to shoot gays. They are after all responsible for the miserable weather.

Eagerly awaiting a map mod of Manchester Cathedral for Unreal Tournament 2007 when it is released.

More Brain Training from Dr. Kawashima: How Old Is Your Brain? mini-review

In 2005 Nintendo released the first Brain Age game. Sales weren't spectacular but with word of mouth it soon became one of the best selling DS games in Japan. It even stayed in the top ten charts for months after it was released. When it was finally released (as Brain Training) in Europe 12 months ago it also saw a similar sales pattern. As of January 2007, 2 million copies of Brain Age were sold to 'non-gamers' and gamers alike, in Europe alone. Total worldwide sale currently stands at above 10 million copies. The success of Brain Age/Training is indicative of the path Nintendo is currently following - catering to people who would not otherwise invest in anything video gaming related. It has also reversed the fortunes of Nintendo (from a lame duck to leader in the video gaming industry) and contributed the the cultural phenomenon that is the Nintendo DS (and Lite).

Seeing how easy it was to develop the first game (it only took 3 months from conception to development), it would be stupid for Nintendo (and their competitors - the original Brain Age effectively spawned a whole new legitimate genre) to ignore such a money making franchise. The original Brain Age was a successful proof of concept that it was possible to produce a cheap 'edutainment' product and it would still be successful. Nintendo soon produced plenty of other 'Touch Generation' products such as English Training, Big Brain Academy and General Knowledge Training. It comes as no surprise that the most successful of the Touch Generation product would see a direct 'sequel'. That is where Brain Age 2/More Brain Training comes in.


Obviously not true!

Like the original 'game', More Brain Training has the usual Brain Age check which allows you to check your 'brain age'. These are based on random exercises which are different from those included in the first Brain Age. One of them requires you to use the microphone. Fortunately it isn't the flawed Stroop Test, which routinely failed to register the word 'blue', from the first game. This new microphone test is the one you probably have seen on those Nicole Kidman telly ads where players have a match with the A.I. in a twisted 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' game. For example the screen will show a hand with a 'scissors' pose and asks you to 'win'. As rock defeats scissors you have to say 'rock'. On the other hand if the game requests you to 'lose' you have to say 'paper'.

There are also now 11 new exercises in the training section such as the 'Correct Change' training for budding cash register hopefuls and the wonderful 'Masterpiece Recital' where you are required to follow a music sheet and press the correct piano key on a virtual keyboard. One of the more difficult and annoying exercise is 'Word Blend' where the game will speak several words simultaneously. A player must listen to the spoken words and write down the words that were spoken. It gets progressively harder as the stage progress with more words being being spoken together. Another exercise featured here is based on the very popular (and my personal favourite) 'Calculations x 20' from the first game (my record is 11 seconds). Instead of doing simple arithmetic calculations, in 'Missing Symbols' all the numbers are displayed in the equation but the player is required to complete the missing mathematical symbol.

While some may have to get used to the handwriting recognition system, I never had a problem with the system in this or the original game. Perhaps it is because I am used to writing on touchscreens since the Palm Vx days, but it shows that you do not need a massive processor for mundane tasks like recognising ones handwriting (Apple, do take note), a testament to the talented people at Nintendo. However like the original stroop test, 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' does suffers from not recognising my voice at times. You can always avoid the exercise, as personally it feels more like a tech demo to demonstrate the DS's microphone capability than a required software for measuring your mentality.

More Brain Training is certainly an oddity. The training games here are fun but challenging in comparison to the first game, which I really enjoyed (and continued to play weekly). Even Dr. Kawashima's reassuring but funny disembodied head is also still present. As a bonus the game also comes with 100 extra Sudoku games, an obvious target at London's ever Sudoku addict tube commuters. However as a gamer I do hope that Nintendo do not ignore their 'core' audience. Games like More Brain Training is nice but if given the choice I would rather have a Fire Emblem cartridge in my DS Lite slot. Either way More Brain Training is a good 'sequel' that more than deserves your attention. But Nintendo, don't forget about us Fire Emblem fans.

7/10

UK non-gamers can buy it now from Amazon with free delivery. International gamers can import it from Play-Asia.

UK floods are god's judgement on society, says religious nutter

The recent floodings in this little island are caused by god's wrath due to increased homosexual acceptance in this country, says a senior Church of England bishop.

Never mind blaming a six month old videogame over a couple of murders that happened years ago, Rt Rev Graham Dow, Bishop of Carlisle decided to go further, beating his fellow CoE colleagues for insanity drivel, by arguing that part of the reason that people here are drowning is because god is pretty pissed off with us.

God, you see, is one moody bloke, granting us much summer warmth back in Springy April but has now decided that maybe it would be better to punish us folks because the sensible parliament here has giving greater rights to gays. Pro-gay rights are the cause of the Atlantic's high-pressure and Britain's low-pressure, thus causing me to cancel my Wimbledon plans (and pissing me off stupid evening hailstorm) - that was what loony Dow meant. Really.

I can already picture the headline for tomorrow's Daily Mail:

Muslims, homos and socialists: responsible for flooding!

The only way to escape death (at least for now) is easy folks. Read that bible of yours and repent. Then you do not have to worry about any natural disasters, like ever.

Oh, wait.

Via Richard and Anorax

Britain's terror hype

Incompetent jihadists tried to distrup London and, bizarrely of all places, Glasgow. Right wing hacks trying to pump up the fear factor over the failed attacks by these ineptitude "terrorists". I say terrorists because while they failed their mission, the paranoid and hysterical media seems content with pumping up the terror alert.

It's like Madeleine McCann all over again (or in the Harry Potter world, Voldermort - fear the name yet, eh???). Joining the paedos are now the Muslims of Britain. And I thought with Teflon Tony gone we would have it so much better.

Are they forgetting that London has gone through much worst during the IRA bombing campaign and the Battle of Britain? I remember being in London in 1996 (as a tourist) when there was an IRA bomb. I was also 300 yards away when the Real IRA planted a bomb in West London midnight six years ago. The media didn't over hype the terror alert back then. (note: unlike today when jihadists are often termed Islamists or Muslim terrorists, back then nobody called the IRA 'Catholic bombers')

All these when the country is gripped with terrible weather, houses being flooded because of incompetent flood defences and people actually dying because of incompetent flood defences (I just had to).

Still these so-called terrorists pisses me off as it caused delays outside Gatwick on Sunday.

EDGE Presents The Top 100 Best Videogames (and me being a fanboy)

Update (3 July):

I just got hold of the magazine. It is in the usual EDGE present format so nothing special there. A noteworthy exception here, when compared to previous EDGE special edition magazines: no adverts. At least nothing direct.

Now, the top 100 list is very console centric meaning if you are a PC gamer you will be disappointed by the lack of inclusion of many key industry changing games. Some notable absentees from both PC and console includes:

Any Command & Conquer variants. You heard that right. No Command & Conquer. No Red Alert. No C&C: Generals. No Red Alert 2. Nothing touches Red Alert for tank rush exhilaration.

Total Annihilation. The game that defined the 3D RTS.

Shogun: Total War

No One Lives Forever

Shogo: Mobile Armor Division

Warcraft III

Zone of the Enders

Empire Earth

Sam & Max

Grim Fandango

Gyakuten Saiban

Elder Scrolls: Morrowind

Any Commandos variants

Final Fantasy IV, V or VI

Golden Sun

Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan

SiN

Suikoden III

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

Unreal

Xenogears

Dragon Quest III or VIII. Jesus.

Any Shin Megami game. Like what the fuck...

Metal Gear Solid. They included MGS2 so it isn't that bad. Glad to know that Solid Snake fanboys has grown up to accept Raiden. EDGE on the other hand does seem to hate him. Not one of the screenshots on the MGS2 double sided entry had Raiden in it!

Half-Life

Wing Commander

Gradius

Now, for the crap (in my very honest opinion) games that did make the list. Fanboys will hate me, but who cares. That's the beauty of having your own opinion. You can make your own list.

Tekken 3

Pro Evo 6

Manhunt

Virtua Tennis 3

Guitar Hero (go play a real guitar, an entry level Fender Squier Strat costs very little)

Counterstrike

Halo

Starcraft

Perfect Dark

Goldeneye 007

FF VII

Super Mario Kart. A baffling inclusion. Personally I believe that the inclusion of this very average game is purely to appease to those seeking nostalgia.

and of course Ocarina of Time

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Posted yesterday:

Another top 10 list. As with all lists, I have the urge to interject my own personal opinions. I could do with a couple of games off the list. An example would be dropping Halo off the Top 100 list and swapping it with Quake III Arena. I would also swapped Half-Life 2 for the first game.

I never truly like The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, though I understand why it made the top of the list. It was probably awesome back then, but seriously with its crude 3D graphics, it hasn't stood the test of time. I have always thought that A Link to the Past was the favourite among Zelda fans but I guess I am wrong. Personally The Wind Waker is my favourite Zelda game.

I am a little bit surprised that Final Fantasy VII fanboys didn't manage to push the game into the top 10 list. Glad that EDGE readers and editors recognise that there are better Final Fantasies out there. Also while I truly adore Resident Evil 4 on GameCube, I believe that it would have been a much better game on the PC if the developers catered for WASD+mouse gamers.

Here's my top 10 console games of all time, that I have played:



1. Chrono Trigger, SNES
2. Final Fantasy VI, SNES (review of GBA version)
3. Final Fantasy XII, PS2 (review)
4. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, GameCube
5. Soul Calibur, Dreamcast
6. Street Fighter II, SNES
7. Shadow of the Colossus, PS2 (review)
8. Dragon Quest VIII, PS2
9. ICO, PS2
10. Metal Gear Solid, PS1

Be sure to pick up your copy of the 260-page EDGE presents the Top 100 Best Videogames tomorrow.

Related posts: My top 100 video games (includes all platforms and formats), Top 5 exclusive PS2 games

Smoking ban

Smoking ban starts today. Woo-hoo!

I apologise to my friends who do smoke, because really I do support your right to smoke if you want to, but unfortunately not all smokers are as considerate as you - therefore I am supporting the public ban. When I dine out I do not want some idiot diner lighting up a fag just because he or she thinks it would enhance the flavour of my food. I do not want to walk up the high street when someone puffs his or her disgusting ashes at me. Smoking revellers is the main reason I do not go out to the clubs and pubs as often as I would like to. I hate returning from a night out smelling like a hobo. It is frustrating and it pisses me off.

So yeah, despite the smoking ban eradicating the rights of smokers, I welcome it.

Apple iPhone FAQ

Q: Can the Iphone be used to send MMS?
A: You can't send MMS. A revolutionary phone like this requires no MMS.

Q: Oh? How about copy and pasting text?
A: You can't copy and paste. OS X on phone does not have that feature. Maybe in the next full priced version perhaps? Or perhaps you would be interested in purchasing this $2000 Macbook that would allow you to copy and paste?

Q: Yes please! I have nothing better to do with money but giving more money to Steve Jobs by buying the same laptop again and again. But please sir, what about recording videos?
A: Nah, you can't do that either. YouTube generation don't need video.

Q: Still pictures are blurry. Why is that?
A: To save money and increase their profit margins Apple has neglected to include auto-focus.

Q: No auto-focus? But isn't that an industry standard?
A: Apple customers doesn't share the same high expectations that other customers of other products have. And they know it. So no auto-focus.

Q: I am getting bored with everyone having the same ringtones. How can I install my own MP3s to use as ringtones?
A: You can't. You have to buy ringtones *exclusively* through Apple Itunes.

Q: My old phone has a 640x480 display. Why the downgrade to 480x320?
A: It isn't a downgrade. It is an upgrade. It has a glass surface and touchscreen.

Q: My Palm Pilot from 1996 had touchscreen...
A: You jest!

Q: I know I can't make video calls, but can I receive one via 3G?
A: No way. The $600 plus two year contract Iphone does not support one or two-way video calling. By the way, what is this 3G?

Q: Is there something like Adobe Flash Lite that would allow me to view flash sites or flash applications?
A: Flash is not supported. It isn't clear whether Java is even supported. You bet Quicktime will be supported though.

Q: I am going on a 20 hour flight trip to Australia. Can I buy a spare battery so I can watch videos all day long.
A: You can't. When your battery dies you are required to send it to an Apple authorised store and they will replace it for you. Parts and labour cost required. It's like the car industry.

Q: So they are going to charge me a fee for swapping the battery?
A: Well you have to make money to feed the fat cats...

Q: My free phone allows me to listen to music wireless via A2DP. How can I enable it on my expensive Iphone?
A: No it isn't supported in their 700MB Mac OS X. Apple consumers do not want technical jargon superior technology in their easy to use products.

Q: I drive a lot, so I would like to voice dial. Could you be a kind gentleman and let me know how.
A: Voice dialling isn't supported. But you can buy their expensive $120 bluetooth headset.

Q: Can I voice dial via Apple's bluetooth headset?
A: Nope! You would still need to touch the Iphone before making a phone call.

Q: So, after paying $600 for this and locked into a two year contract you are telling me my Iphone can't do anything that my free phone can?
A: But your free phone isn't by Apple.

Q: I am not sure if the Apple logo is really worth $600.
A: Steve Jobs says that this is the best phone on the market.

Q: You are right! This is an Apple phone and it is feature-packed! Thank you. It is worth it.
A: It is a brilliant product.